Attack of the Clones! I Mean Scouts!
by Agent Blackhawk Carter
Summary: The Senshi are enjoying peace when ten strangers appear, threatening to take over the world. Can the Senshi stop the Scouts with some unexpected, but welcomed help? Sense of humor required for reading.


Okay...um...I'd first like to say that the idea for this stemmed from the research paper on comparing/contrasting the original to the dubbed and from far too many peppermints...I think the mints were laced with something...not sure what...

So yeah...this is one of those insane fics of mine. Enjoy at the risk of losing whatever sanity you have left.

If I owned Sailor Moon I can assure you the English dub would've been a helluva lot better than it was, though after seeing what Toon Makers Inc. wanted to do with the show...:shudders:...if you wish to know what I'm talking about, look up Saban Moon on YouTube. But getting back to the point, I do not own Sailor Moon. Everything in this fic is borrowed.

Also, some Seramyu people appear in this fic, more specifically some actresses that played them. I only mention a total of six partial names just for reference for avoiding confusion...you'll see why shortly. No one kill me over it onegai! Demo...there was no other way around it really. Not if everyone wanted to go 'huh?' in confusion...and I don't think you guys wanted to do that...I'm rambling so I'll stop...

This fic does have a bit of a soundtrack. If you are able, find 'La Soldier', "Harsh Saint Cry (re-arranged)', and 'Koi no Senshi ja Irarenai'.

Dozo minna-san!

* * *

Usagi and the rest of the Senshi sat down in the backyard to Haruka and Michiru's house. It was a beautiful sunny day and the ten Senshi were happy that there were no more enemies left to fight. Chibi-Usa had even come back from the future to have some fun.

"I love peace!" Usagi grinned happily.

"With all the enemies taken care of, we can finally relax," Haruka agreed, her arm wrapped around Michiru.

"Rei-chan, what's wrong?" Minako asked.

"Something just feels…off," she said.

"Not another enemy!" Usagi whined.

"What the…" Makoto began, staring at the end of the yard. Everyone followed her gaze and stared in shock. A group of ten figures was walking towards them.

"They're…" Ami began.

"Us," Hotaru finished. The Senshi rose to their feet and stared.

"Dare?" Haruka demanded. (Who are you)

"What did she say?" the Usagi double asked in English.

"I don't speak gibberish," the Rei double returned.

"Who are you?" Ami asked in English. "One second," she said and tapped something on her computer. "There. Now everyone should be able to understand each other," she said.

"We're the Sailor Scouts!" the Usagi double exclaimed in a valley girl voice.

Haruka arched a brow. "So…do you sell cookies or what?"

"You've never heard of the Sailor Scouts?" the Makoto double demanded.

"We've only heard of the Sailor Soldiers," Chibi-Usa replied.

"You still haven't told us your names," Michiru said.

"I'm Serena," the Usagi double said. "And these are my friends! Amy, Raye, Lita, Mina, Amara, Michelle, Trista, Hotaru, and my daughter from the future, Rini!"

"Ne, who are these imposters?" Haruka asked softly.

"They're from a parallel dimension," Setsuna answered. "They're us, only what we would have been like had we been Americanized."

"Kowai!" Usagi and Minako exclaimed. (Scary)

"So…why are they here?" Rei demanded.

"We're here to take over," Amara returned.

"Nani?" the Senshi exclaimed. (What)

"Transform!" Serena ordered. "Moon Crisis!" she and Rini shouted together.

"Mercury Crystal Power!"

"Mars Crystal Power!"

"Jupiter Crystal Power!"

"Venus Crystal Power!"

"Uranus Star Power!"

"Neptune Star Power!"

"Pluto Star Power!"

"Saturn Star Power!"

"Star Power?" Michiru repeated. "We've never said Star Power…"

"Venus Crescent Beam!"

"Mars Fire Ignite!"

The Senshi dove out of the way. "What the hell are you bakas doing?" Rei demanded angrily. (idiots)

"There is no cursing! Sailor Moon is a kids show in some dimensions!" Serena Moon shouted.

"Minna! Henshin yo!" Usagi yelled. "Moon Eternal! Make UP!" (Everyone! Transform)

"Mercury Crystal Power!"

"Mars Crystal Power!"

"Jupiter Crystal Power!"

"Venus Crystal Power!"

"Make UP!"

"Uranus Crystal Power! Make UP!"

"Neptune Crystal Power! Make UP!"

"Pluto Crystal Power! Make UP!"

"Saturn Crystal Power! Make UP!"

"Crisis Power! Make UP!"

"Why are they yelling 'Make UP' at the end?" Mina Venus asked.

"Forget that, when did I get a power upgrade?" Serena Moon demanded.

"Who cares? Let's take care of these losers," Amara Uranus said. "Uranus World Shaking!"

"Pluto Deadly Scream!"

"Neptune Deep Submerge!"

"Jupiter Supreme Thunder!"

The Senshi easily leapt clear. "Why do you guys have to shout out the planet name before attacking? It wastes time," Chibi Moon pointed out.

"No it doesn't!" Raye Mars retorted.

"World Shaking!" Haruka Uranus shouted. "See? It does."

"Mars Fire Surround!"

Michiru Neptune cried out in pain as the attack grazed her arm. "Neptune!" Haruka Uranus yelled, running to the Sea Senshi's side. "You all right?" she asked softly, worry in her teal eyes.

"Just a scratch. I'm fine," Michiru Neptune answered. Haruka Uranus nodded and kissed Michiru Neptune.

"Eww! She's your cousin!" Lita Jupiter exclaimed.

The two Outer Senshi looked at the Scouts. "What messed up world do you come from?" Haruka Uranus demanded. "Neptune's my partner." The Scouts made barfing sounds.

"Minna, we may have a problem," Ami Mercury said. "They somehow have more power than we do."

"How is that possible?" Minako Venus demanded.

"Give up then?" Serena Moon asked.

"Ano…did we come at a bad time?" (Um)

"Seiya-kun! Yaten-kun! Taiki-san!" the five Inner Senshi exclaimed.

"Who the heck are they?" Trista Pluto demanded.

"This takes arguing with yourself to a whole new level…" Yaten muttered.

"They're evil and want to take over this universe!" Chibi Moon cried.

"That's all we need to know then. Fighter Star Power! Make UP!"

"Healer Star Power! Make UP!"

"Maker Star Power! Make UP!"

The Scouts' eyes widened. "They turned into girls!" Michelle Neptune exclaimed in disbelief and horror.

"No offense Michi, demo your evil twin is kinda slow," Haruka Uranus said. (But)

"None taken koi," Michiru Neptune replied. (Love)

"I've had enough of this! Moon Gorgeous Meditation!" Serena Moon shouted.

Most of the Senshi leapt clear of the attack, but it struck Chibi Moon. "Chibi Moon!" Usagi Moon cried.

"Hi!" the small girl said in a perfect voice just like Rini.

"Oh shimatta…" Setsuna Pluto realized. "They can turn us into them!" (sh-t/damn it)

"Star Serious Laser!"

"Star Sensitive Inferno!"

"Star Gentle Uterus!"

The Scouts leapt away. "Did we just get attacked by a uterus?" Mina Venus asked her friends. (A/N: RunningStorm, you should recognize that bit of text from our PM banter :D)

"We can't have attacks like that! Moon Gorgeous Meditation!"

"Silent Wall!" Saturn cried, standing in front of the Starlights. The attack went through the barrier and struck the young Senshi.

"NO! Hotaru-chan!" the Senshi cried.

"This is very bad…" Rei Mars murmured.

"So what do we…do you hear music?" Usagi Moon asked.

"Yeah…it sounds like that music that played during your showdown with the Death Phantom," Ami Mercury said.

"Sorry to be late minna!" a voice said. A figure appeared from the shadows.

"Who the heck are you?" Amy Mercury asked.

"I am a Seramyu Senshi!"

"Seramyu?" Usagi Moon repeated.

The newcomer stepped forward. "We will not let dubbed upstarts like you ruin this great show! I, Eternal Sailor Anza Moon, will stop you!"

"Who is she?" Serena Moon asked.

"She's the first Seramyu Sailor Moon of all time and considered by many to be the best," a young woman with brown hair said. Everyone stared at her. "What? I'm just here to watch and record history. Ignore me. Though if you're interested, the song playing is 'La Soldier'."

"Okay," Haruka Uranus muttered.

"We'll still beat you!" Amara Uranus cried.

"Moon Gorgeous Med…"

"Space Sword Blaster!" a new voice yelled, knocking the weapon out of Serena Moon's hands as new music began to play.

"Harsh Saint Cry!" the girl giggled, jumping up and down.

"Who is it this time?" Lita Jupiter demanded.

Two women came into view. "Sailor Nao Uranus!"

"Sailor Yuhka Neptune!"

"SWEET!" the normal human exclaimed. She sweatdropped as everyone stared at her. "Um…sorry…fangirl moment…"

Before any more attacks could be thrown there was sudden finger snapping that made everyone stop. "NOW WHAT?" they all demanded.

"Penetrating the darkness of night…"

"The air of freedom breaks through…"

"We are the three sacred shooting stars! Sailor Star Sayuri Fighter!"

"Sailor Star Hikari Maker!"

"Sailor Star Momoko Healer!"

"Seramyu Starlights are here!"

"Now what oh great fearless leader?" Raye Mars demanded of Serena Moon.

"We can still beat them!"

"WAIT!" the girl shouted.

"WHAT?"

She pulled out a hardbound book covered in _Bishōjo Senshi Sailor Moon_ and _Seramyu_ stickers and pictures. She ran over to the originals. "Ano…can I have your autographs? Onegai shimasu?" (formal way of saying please) They all shrugged and signed the book except for Saturn and Chibi Moon who were still under the effects of Serena Moon's attacks. "Arigatou gozaimasu!" she exclaimed when they had finished (thank you very much). She ran back to her spot and sat down, extremely giddy.

"Hey, don't you want our autographs?" Michelle Neptune asked.

"Why in the hells would I want dubbed Sailor Moon autographs? Everyone knows dubs are evil in some way, no matter how good they're translated."

"You're an American though, right?" Serena Moon asked.

"Yeah, but the original is only an infinite times better than the dubbed…and Saban Moon…" the girl shuddered. "That would've been worse than the dub..."

"We'll deal with her later," Raye Mars snapped.

Both sides rushed in and began fighting viciously. The girl winced as she watched. "That's gonna leave a mark…" she muttered as Haruka Uranus kicked Amara Uranus into a tree after the Scout had tried to attack Michiru Neptune. In spite of all the original people fighting off the dubs, the Scouts were beginning to gain the upper hand, thanks to Serena Moon's attack.

"This is not good!" Nao Uranus cried. "The dubs are too well known!"

"So what can we do?" Anza Moon demanded.

"Leave it to me!" the girl cried. She pulled a laptop out from nowhere and furiously began typing on it. Music suddenly began playing from nowhere.

"Hey…this is Koi no Senshi ja Irarenai," Yuhka Neptune realized. (Cannot Only be Soldiers of Love)

"What is she typing?" Amy Mercury demanded.

"For every true Sailor Moon fan to band together against you and sing along to Koi no Senshi ja Irarenai from Mugen Gakuen!" she said, rising to her feet. "And to help the Senshi!"

"We'll see about that! Moon Gorgeous Meditation!"

The girl arched a brow as the attack harmlessly hit her. "I'm already Americanized moron." She grinned. "Bonzai!" she cried and rushed in to join the fight. The battle continued with renewed fervor, the Scouts quickly finding out that the girl was a very passionate fighter when it came to her favorite anime/series.

The Senshi quickly regained the upper hand and forced the Scouts back. "Give up!" Usagi Moon ordered.

"Never! We will win!"

"I don't think so!" a chorus of voices sounded.

The Scouts looked behind them and saw dozens of women dressed as Senshi. "Who are they?" Lita Jupiter asked.

"Every actresses and actor to have played in the Seramyu, good and evil," the girl answered, folding her arms over her chest. "As for the people behind me, they're the real Sailor Moon fans." The Scouts looked behind the girl and saw hundreds of people of all ages glaring at them.

"We can take them on!" Amara Uranus boasted.

"Really? Then can you also take them on?" she asked, nodding to five girls and two plush cats.

"And they are?"

"From _Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon_," the girl answered. "Still think you can take an army on?"

"Of course!" Serena Moon exclaimed. She lifted her scepter when a flurry of roses knocked it down along with the weapons the Scouts were carrying.

"That which was once beautiful has been corrupted. Be gone evil things!" three Tuxedo Kamens demanded.

"Now minna!" Usagi Moon yelled.

"SILVER MOON! CRYSTAL POWER KISS!" a chorus of Moons shouted.

"MERCURY AQUA RHAPSODY!"

"MARS FLAME SNIPER!"

"JUPITER OAK EVOLUTION!"

"VENUS LOVE AND BEAUTY SHOCK!"

"SPACE SWORD BLASTER!"

"SUBMARINE REFLECTION!"

"STAR SERIOUS LASER!"

"STAR SENSITIVE INFERNO!"

"STAR GENTLE UTERUS!"

"TUXEDO SMOKING BOMBER!"

"Mercury Aqua Mist!"

"Mega Mars Fire!"

"Jupiter Thunderbolt!"

"Rolling Heart Vibration!"

"Moon Twilight Flash!"

"NOW!" the fans yelled as the Scouts fell to the ground from the onslaught of the dozens of attacks.

"DARK DOME CLOSE!" every original Pluto yelled, sealing the Scouts away for all time.

"Well that was…different…" Haruka Uranus muttered. The Senshi watched as the others from PGSM and Seramyu vanished along with the fans.

The girl bowed to them. "It was great to see you guys."

"Thanks for your help," Usagi said.

"Yeah but…what about them?" Minako asked, pointing to Hotaru and Chibi-Usa, both of whom were still under the dubbed attack's influence.

"Oh that's easy," the girl said. She snapped her fingers and the two snapped out of it. She grinned.

"That's all we had to do?" Setsuna demanded.

"No." The girl held up several pieces of paper. "Had to do some writing." She turned and began walking away.

"Chotto matte!" Usagi cried. (Wait a minute)

The girl stopped and turned. "Yeah?"

"Are you telling us that this is a fanfic?" Haruka demanded.

"Hai. Name's Carter. I'm the author of this fic." (Yes)

"And that you could have gotten rid of the Scouts at any time?" Michiru went on.

"I don't like where this is going…" Carter slowly said.

"Get her!" Haruka shouted.

"Aw crap…" Carter muttered and took off running, the Senshi and Starlights chasing after her. A loud crash sounded. "ITAI! THAT DOESN'T BEND THAT WAY! IIIIIITTTTTAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIII!!! (Ow/ouch)

**END**

* * *

:from hospital bed: So yeah...I've learned my lesson to never do another self-insertion fic... 

Haruka: Hey Carter! Get back here!

oo;;; Not again!..:jumps out of window and flees, the Senshi chasing her:

Luna plushie: Leave a review if you wish! Thanks for reading!


End file.
